THE PSYCHEDELIC PSPORTS PNETWORK
Tune in to Radio Z Escape-ism AM 1260 for the latest on traffic, weather, & the Psychedelic Sports Pnetwork.
HELLO YOU’RE LISTENING TO RADIO Z
Radio Z Disc Jockey “Table Turner”
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN DON’T FORGET TO COME ON DOWN TO THE MUSEUM OF SMELLS TOMORROW FOR THE 18TH ANNUAL SMELL-A-THON. SPONSORED BY THE SOCIETY FOR THE FREEDOM TO SMELL; “IN A FREE SOCIETY, WE MUST BE FREE TO SMELL”
OK IN THE NEWS WE HAVE A TRIBUNAL OF CORPORATE SPONSORS BY RIVAL CORPORATIONS … THE SPRINT FACTION HAS ACCUSED CATHERINE ZETA JONES OF WORKING FOR THE T–MOBILE CORPORATION . . . MS JONES INSISTS ON HER INNOCENCE. SHE’LL GO ON TRIAL NEXT WEEK . . . PROSECUTORS ARE SEEKING THE DEATH PENALTY.
Studio Engineer at Radio Z
COME DOWN TO THE CLUB BLASÉ FOR CLUB LIP SYNC; ALL THE FINEST CONTEMPORARY PERFORMERS WILL LIP SYNC AND PANTOMIME TO PRE-RECORDED RENDITIONS OF THEIR LATEST SONGS.
BOOK READING AT KONSTWUCTIVE KWITICISM ON LODGE STREET. AUTHOR JOHNNY SINCERE WILL SIGN HIS LATEST BOOK “FAMOUS AUTOGRAPHS.”
ANNOUNCING A RUMBLE BETWEEN THE STONED ALCOHOLICS AND THE INSATIABLES. IT’S OCCURRING SUNDAY NIGHT ON 18TH ST BEHIND THE OLD MARIE REED ELEMENTARY SCHOOL BY THE PLAYGROUND NEAR THE DUMPSTER. BOTTLES, KNIVES, STICKS, CHAINS, AND ROCKS ARE ALLOWED; ZIP GUNS, SWITCH BLADES, AND EXPLOSIVES ARE NOT. IT STARTS AT SUNDOWN AND GOES ‘TIL WHENEVER.
NOW: A MESSAGE FOR THE PEOPLE OF THE FUTURE:
all you americans in the future who wanna talk about how great I was
when you put up the plaque
that goes in front of where my cardboard box sat
just hold your hand think again theres something i want you to know
i dont belong to you
I wasn’t one of you
you are not responsible for anything i do
it’s not because of you
you didn’t make me
i’m not one of you
i dont like what you do
i’m against you
i’m not one of you
people of Md and DC
people of the USA
when you’re laying back in your khaki pants and feeling accomplished
they’ll say “he was one of us”
“he lived here too”
but is it true?
OK NOW FOR THE PSYCHEDELIC SPORTS NETWORK LIVE PLAY BY PLAY REPORTING.
TONIGHT IS THE BIG GAME BETWEEN THE ST. CLOUD HUNCHBACKS AND THE CAUFIELD HOMICIDES AT SENOR CHICKEN MEMORIAL ARENA KNOWN COLLOQUIALLY AS “THE ZIPLOCK BAG.” HUNCHBACKS ARE ON A 3 GAME WINNING STREAK. HOMICIDES ARE LOOKING FOR REVENGE AFTER THEIR BITTER HUMILIATION THE LAST TIME THESE TEAMS MET. THERE’S 2 MINUTES LEFT IN THE THIRD PERIOD. HUNCHBACKS HAVE JUST INBOUNDED THE BALL.
TOP OF THE KEY, WORKING RIGHT TO LEFT, LEFT TO RIGHT, NUMBER 5 – PARSLEY KEENEN – PASSES TO NUMBER 11 – HARDON SHOEHORN – WHO DRIBBLES AWAY OBVIOUSLY FAVORING HIS OR HER LEFT LEG AFTER THAT AWFUL PSYCHOLOGICAL TRAUMA WHICH KEPT HIM OR HER BED RIDDEN FOR MUCH OF HIS ADULT LIFE.
Radio Z Disc Jock “Caramel Smoke”
NUMBER 8, – CREAMY CONNELL – FROM THE CAUFIELD TEAM RUNS TOWARD HIM OR HER BUT THEN OH . . . FLAILS USELESSLY JUST WHEN IT WOULD HAVE COUNTED MOST. NUMBER 6 – BARNYARD HOUSECAT – WANDERS, DAZED, POSSIBLY PART OF A GAME PLAN DRAWN UP BY MORSE CLIPBOARD, THE MOST CUNNING AND DIABOLICAL COACH IN THE LEAGUE. HOUSECAT WAS RECENTLY TRADED FROM THE HOUSTON HAS-BEENS BUT HAS YET TO SHOW HIS WORTH. SHOEHORN THROWS THE BALL TO NUMBER 28, DIAMOND HONEYCUT, WITH 5 ON THE SHOT CLOCK. DRIBBLES INTO THE PAINT. 3 ON THE SHOT CLOCK … HE’S DESPERATE; 2 ON THE SHOT CLOCK … SWARMED BY DEFENDERS … 28 SHOOTS AT THE BUZZER AND … IT’S GOOD!!!! HE OR SHE SCORES!!!! AND WE HAVE A NAIL BITER HERE AT THE ZIPLOCK BAG WITH THE GAME TIED 90 ALL AT THE END OF THE THIRD PERIOD.
OK IT’S TIME NOW FOR OUR TOP FIVE HIT PARADE COUNTDOWN.
COMING UP AT NUMBER 5 THIS WEEK, SNEAKING UP FROM WAY DOWN THE LIST AT NUMBER 6, IS TOO MUCH WITH “I NEVER HAD IT BEFORE” ON BLOB RECORDS. THIS IS A DEDICATION TONIGHT FROM _____1 TO ____2.
AND AT NUMBER FOUR, THOSE UPSTARTS THE COLLABORATORS WITH “DON’T MAKE ME DREAM” ON DISC JOCKEY RECORDS.
AT NUMBER THREE, SURPRISING EVERYONE IS THAT GROUP OF INCOMPETENTS THE YE OLDE TYME COMPUTER BAND WITH “FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT.” NO ONE EVER EXPECTED THESE GUYS TO STORM THE CHARTS. THIS ONE IS ALSO A DEDICATION FROM ___3 TO _____4.
WE INTERRUPT THIS SONG TO WARN YOU ABOUT THE THREAT OF AN OUTBREAK OF SEVERE WEATHER. WE ARE TRACKING A PROBABLE THREAT. THE TRAIL OF DESTRUCTION SHOWS HOW DANGEROUS AND DEADLY THIS STORM WILL BE AND WE WILL INTERVIEW THOSE FEW WHO HAVE SURVIVED. PLUS LATER: WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF A TORNADO STRUCK OVERNIGHT? WOULD YOU BE PREPARED? WE ARE TRACKING A PARTICULARLY DANGEROUS SITUATION IN THE NORTHERN AND WESTERN PARTS OF TOWN. TERRIFYING WEATHER IS COMING. THE SEA IS RISING. EARTHQUAKES. GALES. WINDS. RAIN. AND NOW THE STORMS ARE MOVING TO THE EAST AS WELL. DOPPLER RADAR TRACKS THE STORM MOVING OVER THE BORDER TOWARD BLEDSOE, FINTRESS, MORGAN, PUTNAM, WHITE, MCMANN, HAMILTON, GRUNDY, AND VAN BUREN COUNTIES. THE STORM MEANWHILE IS SPIRALING OMINOUSLY SOUTH TOWARD OTHER VULNERABLE “GREATEST THREAT” AREAS. NO NEED TO PLAN FOR THE FUTURE. NO NEED TO SAVE. NO NEED TO CONSERVE OR RECYCLE. RUN. WE ARE BEING INVADED BY WEATHER. WEATHER IS AN INVASION FORCE. TERROR.
AND NOW A BREAK FOR WORDS FROM OUR SPONSORS :
HOURLY TRAFFIC UPDATE: BLUE CAR SWERVING DOWN MLK BOULEVARD. YELLOW CAR IN THE LEFT LANE.
HAS NORTH CAROLINA TAGS. DRIVING KIND OF WEIRD. WOW LOOK AT THAT CONSTRUCTION. WHAT WAS THERE BEFORE ? OH MAN. YELLOW CAR IS DRIVING SORT OF ERRATICALLY. POSSIBLY DRIVER TALKING ON A CELLULAR PHONE. LET’S TAKE A LOOK.
OK CONTINUING OUR TOP 5 COUNTDOWN : “NO ONE UNDERSTANDS” BY KRISSY KRIGHENKLE AND THE KRUCABLUCRUMB ARE HOLDING FIRM AT THE #1 SPOT. WE INTERVIEWED KRISSY AT THE STUDIO WHEN THE KRUCABLECRUMB CAME THROUGH LAST WEEK.
THANKS KRISSY — WE WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK IN ALL YOUR ENDEAVORS! KEEP IT TUNED HERE TO RADIO Z.
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Won lots of money listening to this.